Emotional Turmoil

Even when I'm not physically sitting in front of a computer, I always feel like I'm writing. New stories, going over old ones, progressing the current one farther than I've written. I'm at a point in my main project I'm writing where I am setting up for a big conflict for the main character. I've played out the upcoming scenes in my head more times and ways than I thought possible to come up with the right one to grip the reader. I know I'm getting close because even as I sit here now thinking about it on a high level, I feel sad and teary. I wonder if there's a cruel person inside of me that would make me even consider doing this to her. I wish I knew for sure. It's tying my stomach in knots and I feel more and more anxious with each passing page.

Whatever the final result, I know I will shed many tears both writing and rereading it. I guess it's a sign of a good story when you know the outcome and are still affected. I hope my readers agree.

Foresight

Do you ever just "know" things? I'm not talking about knowledge you get from school or books.. I mean know how things are going to turn out. One time I was driving with my husband to California and a car zoomed by us, zipping through the cars. My husband made a disapproving face, but I told him not to worry, they'd be broken down on the side of the road up ahead. I had no way of knowing that, but about 30 minutes later, we passed their broken down vehicle on the side of the road.

That kind of thing doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to. My son seemed to have the gift of "knowing" when he was younger. I laughed when he told me my book would be successful, both written and as a movie. (I'm still waiting for both.) But I came to a realization a few weeks ago and it was one of those "knowing" moments. I am putting in the time to research agents and get to know the industry through rejection after rejection. The highs of finishing writing/edits is mirrored by the lows of the "No"'s in my inbox. I get it... it's how the industry works. A lot of famous authors lament about how many rejections they received before they got their big break. But somehow I "know" that I won't find the agent I'm looking for by doing all this leg work. I'm going to find a connection either through someone I know or by happen chance by talking to new people about my writing.

I guess I believe in fate and that things happen for a reason. Maybe I'll only ever be famous in my own mind and published because I choose to self-publish. I hope that's not the case... I'd love for my words, my stories to touch other people as much as they've touched my life. I guess only time will tell. But I feel that this is going to be my year.

I'm looking forward to reading this again after something's happened and smiling about my "knowledge". I hope anyone that reads this is inspired to do the things that mean something to them and listen to the clues the universe or God or whatever you believe in gives us as we make choices.

Music and Writing

I'm often amazed at the things that influence my writing; people at the supermarket, clouds in the sky, a well written song... Music has always been important to me. I played flute from age 8 until around age 15. I am constantly listening to the lyrics of songs (frequently looking them up online) and allowing someone else's words to create images in my mind to help tell my stories.

For the most part, I keep the music that has impacted my story telling to myself. But recently, I've uncovered a song that didn't influence what I wrote, but somehow tells part of the story that I didn't write. The song was written before I even had the notion to write Dark Eyes and I didn't hear it until just recently - almost 2 years after I started this adventure.

I know a lot of people haven't read my book (yet), but I wanted to invite everyone to experience part of my writing from an unintended external source. The song is called Hunted by Year of the Rabbit. I've been a fan of the singer, Ken Andrews, since his days in the band Failure. I listen to this song on repeat when I'm driving my husband's vehicle and I get lost in the story... in my story, from the villain's perspective.

I hope you will take a listen and allow yourself to be taken on the same journey that my book does.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Hunted/2sFMwH?src=5

Re-energized

*yawns and stretches* It's been a very long time since I wrote here. But as I was walking around my house today, I was inspired to post again.

Editing my book over the weekend to enter it into a contest was exactly what I needed to get back into the business of writing again. I got burned out and frustrated last year with rejection after rejection. I know this story is good. I have people BEGGING me for the sequel. I accept that things happen for a reason and I know that I will find the person/agency to represent my books.

The fact is I love my story. I fell in love with it all over again this past weekend. I wrote it and have read it umpteen times, but I still caught myself smiling, frowning, laughing, and wiping away tears. And now it's my job to communicate that passion and connect with the right person who will make my dream of being a published author a reality.

This is my year to make it happen. I'm excited to make the connection and move this to the next level.

Final Edits Done!

Almost 35,000 removed and I feel good enough to send out this version to my readers. I have 2 that read the last version and two fresh set of eyes to look it over.

Now to start writing my query letter. I'm finding this is harder than writing the book!

Wish me luck! Queries are going out soon!

Editing Done?

23,013 words removed during that edit. Now I'm going back through and trying to read it to make sure it still makes sense. But since I'm still in editing mode, I'm continuing to cut words as I'm reading.

So, my strategy right now is to read/edit a chapter then reread it to make sure it makes sense. The word count continues to come down. And I'm hoping to have this version out to my readers within a week. *crosses fingers*

Editing, editing, and more editing...

I remember being so excited when I hit the 200k mark, not realizing then what a ridiculous amount of words that is for a paranormal romance. During the (slow) editing process, I've finally gotten it below that 200k mark, which is bittersweet. My complete story is getting abbreviated to fit the requirements of the industry. I understand.. I'm not complaining, only that I feel it loses a little bit of something the more I cut out.

But I'm doing my edits.. trying hard to conform to the rules of the land with the hopes that the final product will be marketable. So say a prayer, cross your fingers, and wish me luck!